#7 - Inner Peace

Tyler: Hey everyone, welcome to Ancient Wisdom Modern Voices, the podcast where timeless knowledge meets contemporary insight. Each episode, we bridge the gap between the past and present, bringing ancient insights to examine today's most pressing issues. Join us on a journey as we explore how the old can illuminate the new.

Tyler: Hey everyone, and welcome back to Ancient Wisdom, Modern Voices. This is episode 7 and we're your hosts. I'm Tyler.

Nina: I'm Nina.

David: And I'm David.

Tyler: And today we're exploring what inner peace really looks like in a world filled with constant demands, endless notifications, uncertainty and pressure.

Tyler: Hey, do us a quick favor and give this podcast a five star review and subscribe here on Spotify, Apple Music and YouTube Music. Your support means the world to us.

Nina: Yeah, for sure, Tyler. With all the things happening around us, it's almost as if we need to be the judge of our own mind and thoughts, deciding which thoughts stay and which thoughts go like a courtroom, almost.

Nina: So, Tyler. Tyler. Tyler, wake up. Are you already falling asleep? We just started the episode. I mean, I know it's been a long time since the last episode, and maybe you need to get your mojo back, but come on. The people need us, Tyler. Whoa. What's happening?

Nina: Did I just get into Tyler's mind? Wow, this is interesting. It's really chaotic, actually. There's a whole courtroom in here. Who's the judge and where is his Inner peace? Oh hold up, looks like he just about to wake up. Let's observe his thoughts as he wakes up in the morning.

Tyler: Shoot, I got a meeting in 10 minutes. Where's my lunch box? Did I pack my lunch? Ah, my head. I need coffee this morning. Wait, did I reply to that message last night? Man, was that deadline today? Or maybe it was yesterday? What's the weather? Am I overdressed?

Tyler: Court is in session. The case before us. The mind of Tyler versus inner peace.

Nina: Your Honor, the prosecution intends to prove that Tyler is completely unprepared for today. We submit Exhibit A. He hadn't packed his lunch. Exhibit B, he hasn't made his coffee. Exhibit C, he had to reply to that message. Exhibit D, he doesn't even know what he's wearing and E, that embarrassing thing that he said three years ago.

Tyler: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Who put Exhibit E in there? Take that out.

David: Your honor I represent presence and inner peace. My client, is awake, is present. He will get through this morning like any other morning he has gotten through if he calms down and pauses for a bit. Also, your honor objection to Exhibit E. That embarrassing thing he said three years ago has nothing to do with the current moment.

Tyler: Sustained. Exhibit E won't be considered. Ah man, I forgot to save my deck for today's meeting. Dang it! This morning can't get any worse.

Nina: Your Honor, the Prosecution would like to submit Exhibit F, the Future. This meeting can go badly. Tyler could embarrass himself. He might disappoint everyone.

Tyler: Hey, hey, wait a second. You're just exaggerating. You're making me look bad. Wait, wait. You're right. What if I do mess up? What do they think? I'm not prepared? What if? What if?

David: Objection your honor. This is all speculation, pure speculation.

Tyler: Sustained. The Court will not consider imaginary disasters as evidence.

Nina: But you cannot ignore the facts your honor. Tyler forgot his coffee, his lunch, and now his presentation.

David: Correction, Tyler has not forgotten. He can get it done and move forward if he focuses on what's in front of him. One thing at a time.

Tyler: OK OK, I got some time to prepare. I can just get my laptop and just recreate a deck quickly. Maybe this morning isn't a disaster. Maybe it's just just the morning.

Nina: But, but, we haven't even had time to enjoy a cup of coffee. How can anything else go right from there without our coffee?

David: Objection, Your honor. Things can still go right from here even if we don't have a cup of coffee right now. Tyler is already working on his deck. He's focused on finishing as we speak. Perhaps we get coffee afterwards as a reward for finishing the presentation.

Tyler: OK, we have come to a final verdict. We're not going to solve every possible problem before breakfast. We will take one breath, we will focus on what is in front of us, and we will take the next step. Case dismissed. Oh my God, did I fell asleep? Oh geez.

David: Neuroscientists say the first 10 minutes of your day set the tone for the entire rest of the day. Whatever you feed your mind first, panic or presence, that's the frequency the rest of the day turns into. Tyler didn't need a perfect morning, he just needed to bring more presents and awareness for those first 10 minutes. One pause, one breath, one step at a time. That's how you let that awareness create more inner peace.

David: So yeah, based on what I just share, why don't we take a pause ourselves? Why don't we take a breath and let's reflect together on this question. What is the thought pattern that either contributes to our own inner peace or inner chaos? Whether it is our first part of your day or your whole day, what what do you guys think about this question?

Tyler: David, I love this question and I can go first. So for me, the thought pattern that contributes to my inner chaos is that there's always a constant race happening in my mind to get everything done. And this immediately starts like the the moment I wake up because before I leave for work I have to do several different tasks in the morning such as making breakfast for my family, taking out the garbage, recycling, and just doing any miscellaneous house chores before I leave the house to go to work for the day.

Tyler: And then the minute I get to work, I am immediately bombarded with many different tasks, whether it be messages on Slack phone colleagues that have to be answered or appointments due to prepare for or my fellow colleague they need help on how to run this software or any kinds of question, right? And just big major task that I just cannot afford to forget. So while I'm working on one task, my mind is already immediately thinking about the next three or four tasks ahead of me that I have to get done. And I do keep A to do list to keep myself on track and organized.

Tyler: But ironically, something that's supposed to help me keep myself organized has also become a big source of pressure on me. So instead of helping me focus, I keep looking at the To Do List and treating it as a big reminder of things I haven't got done yet. Right. So my thoughts immediately became, oh, I have to get this done now. I cannot afford to forget this. And I'm already falling behind because I didn't do these other tasks that I said that I'm going to do, right? And the more I think that way, it actually makes me become very overwhelmed in my mind.

Tyler: And then ironically, when I rush because I'm afraid of missing something or not completing the task, that's where I may actually overlook something, make a mistake, or even fall further behind on what I have to do for the day. So for me, the difference between inner chaos and inner peace is not necessarily the number of responsibilities that I have, but it's the mentality that I bring to them. Because for me, in my case, like the inner chaos comes from me treating everything as equally urgent and mentally carrying the weight of my entire day at once.

Tyler: Now, on the flip side for inner peace, how I approach this is that inner peace for my case is comes from reminding myself that not everything on my list is equally urgent. I can take a step back, prioritize, and decide which one truly needs my attention first. And it also means accepting that I may not finish everything in one day, but that doesn't mean that I I failed, right? There's always going to be another task waiting, but I don't have to carry the pressure of the entire day all at once.

Tyler: So what I can do for myself is that I can focus on what matters the most, do what I reasonably can and allow that to be to be enough, right. So my responsibilities, they may stay exactly the same, but the way that I approach them can I completely change how I experience my day. So that's that's my sharing.

David: Yeah, that is something that definitely I could relate to a lot. Tyler is just like thinking about all these things that you it, it, it kind of puts your mind and state of mind in a future state versus being present.

David: So I totally relate to that because it's like you could be doing so many things, could be taking a walk with a friend, or in my case, I take walks with my wife, which is a very one of the things that we sort of look forward to in the day. But if my mind is constantly thinking about what's next, what's next, I cannot enjoy that walk. Yeah. So I totally relate to that. And something that I wanted to share is something that actually, a thought pattern that contributes to my own inner peace or inner chaos for me a big one is overthinking.

David: So I'm a big big overthinker, but that's kind of like my weakness and strength at the same time. Because I'm like, I could be so analytical and deep and and and at the same time, like super strategic and stuff like look at the big picture. But at the same time, it's like, okay, when are you going to get things done kind of thing, you know, like, so I feel like I tend to overanalyze things, which kind of like puts me in this loop of analysis paralysis. And then it makes me feel anxious. It makes me feel a certain way, stress or worry versus I could just take imperfect actions.

David: It doesn't matter if the actions are perfect. I could just make progress. I cannot, don't let the imperfect actions define who I am. Just take actions and then just as I Yourself to move forward. Yeah, I just as I go alone because if I already have clarity, I'm not going to solve anything to thinking more about it. That's. True, I have that habit too, right? It's like. You want to make the right decision and you're like, but I need all of the facts. I need all the information before moving forward. But something you just, you just got to take that first step. Yeah.

David: So that, that is one for me and that is something that actually, well, that is one of the biggest things that I'm actually working on right now is how do I take more steps and actions on the things that that I already have clarity on. And, and in in that I'm trying to build my own trust in myself. I will figure it out like no matter if I afraid of making mistakes, I will figure it out. Like I figured things out in my life so far. I will adjust, I will improve and I will make progress. And yeah, whatever my goal is, I will achieve it.

Nina: So true. I think you and Tyler both touched upon the the word that came to mind, especially when Tyler was speaking. And I think also on you is like like that feeling of being overwhelmed because we have so much things out of place without To Do List, but we physically cannot do all these things right now or as quick as we want to do. And something that I tell myself sometime it's like I myself am capable of doing a lot of things, but you cannot physically be doing all of those things. So it's really about picking and choosing with the time that you have and with your physical like abilities, what can you actually focus on?

Nina: And I think that has help me both in my personal life, but also my career life, the fact that, you know, in theory, I am capable of doing a lot of different things, whatever I want to do, but you only have a limited time and, and limited space. And so it's about focusing, thinking about what we really should be prioritizing and, and to focus on those specific things that the best that you can to remove that sense of inner chaos.

Nina: When I was thinking about this question, though, I kind of approached in a chaos more about things that kind of come to you sporadically or unexpectedly and the cause like kind of disruption and like in your heart or your thought perception. So everything from the small things like you lose your train of thought when you have like a notification pop up or you're driving and somebody cuts you off. Those moments of external disruption caught that sense of inner chaos, one, because there was something unexpected and two, unexpected in the way that perhaps you didn't like.

Nina: And I think the way to kind of revert that sense of inner chaos to achieve that inner peace like 1, like taking that pause or that breather to accept what had happened. And then two, reflecting on the moment and thinking about like, why do you think that way towards that person or that event and kind of like think more about it to realize finding that that inner peace through that reflection essentially.

Tyler: 100%, Nina, totally agree. You know, inner peace is something that I feel that many people, right? And I'm sure many people listening to this podcast, we need inner peace more than ever, right?

Tyler: Especially in this day and age, which is so much things going on in the world. Inner peace is something that we all could use more of, right? But I feel like to really understand what inner peace really means, how about we go back in time and see what one of history's most famous philosophers, Marcus Aurelius, had to say about it.

David: Marcus, I think he was not just a philosopher. Most people know him as a philosopher or someone that was very wise, but it's something that a lot of people don't know about. It's like he was also leading one of the most powerful empires in the world from 161 to 180 AD.

David: Much of his time was spent leading with devastating plagues, constant wars along Rome's borders, and political chaos back in home. Back at home too. So in other words, his ideas about staying calm and in his book covering Meditations were not really theories were actually constantly tested while he was alive.

Nina: So let us go back from time to see the situation where Marcus Aurelius was at when he was creating his major work Meditations. We're going back to roughly 170 AD, where Marcus Aurelius is in the middle of one of his military campaigns. He's currently in his tent, writing in his journal that would become Meditations under the small candlelight fire when his Praetorian Prefect, Maximus, bursts into the tent with news to share.

Marcus Aurelius and the Inner Retreat

The following is a fictional dramatization inspired by Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations, Book 4, Section 3.

Cast:
Tyler as Maximus
David as Marcus Aurelius

Maximus (Tyler): Imperator! The Tribes, the tribes are crossing the river by sunrise!

Marcus Aurelius (David): The sun rises either way.

Maximus (Tyler): Hey, that's a cool line that doesn't stop the enemy from stabbing us.

Marcus Aurelius (David): Noted.

Maximus (Tyler): Noted? That's all you can say? Don't you see the men are terrified. You know, I got one Centurion. He just came up to me. You know what he asked? He asked about morale leave. What is that even?

Marcus Aurelius (David): Morale leave? What do you tell him them?

Maximus (Tyler): I told him that this is the Imperial Roman army, not the bath house!

Marcus Aurelius (David): It's funny that you mention that people seek retreats for themselves in the country, by the sea, in the mountains. You're very much in the habit of yearning for those two, isn't it?

Maximus (Tyler): Oh, you must be a mind reader. You read my mind. I could take any of those right now.

Marcus Aurelius (David): And you can! At any moment you can find such a retreat in yourself, in your own mind. Nowhere is more peaceful and less busy than your own heart or own soul.

Maximus (Tyler): My soul, my own soul, My soul is full of mud and dirt and cold rainy nights and fear of getting stabbed and just looking over my back every time. Oh, there's no peace in my soul.

Marcus Aurelius (David): Especially if you're feeling this way on close inspection. It's actually, well, order, that's all. Peace is order within the chaos.

Maximus (Tyler): So you make this sound so simple, so well, what do I do? Do I just order myself calm or something?

Marcus Aurelius (David): You can treat yourself often to this retreat and be renewed. Try more than once is not a one time trick.

Maximus (Tyler): You know, you're that's either really brilliant or you're just trying to stall some time so that you don't have to go outside.

Marcus Aurelius (David): Could it be both? Go and sharpen some blades.

Maximus (Tyler): You know, Caesar, you ever get scared?

Marcus Aurelius (David): I do, I just don't let it hold the pen or any power over me. You actually have power over your mind, not outside events. Know this and you'll find strength.

End of Skit.

Nina: Wow, y'all great actors. And my favorite part about the scene that you guys just did was the fact that Marcus Aurelius was able to keep a steady peace of mind despite the adversity and the chaos that a war brings.

Nina: And it's a good reminder that oftentimes when we face adversity, we tend to try to run away from it, whether it's running away from a particular situation, a place, or a person. But the one thing that you can't run away is yourself. You know your feelings, your thoughts, and your state of mind. So therefore, to overcome any adversity, the first step is to face yourself and to change yourself to attain that inner peace. That being said, we'd love to hear from everyone on the subject of adversity.

Nina: How do you deal with adversity and what helps you maintain steadiness when life around you feels uncertain or overwhelming?

David: Yeah, I guess I can go first. So it's very natural for us to, when we're dealing with adversity, to to look at other people, right? To blame others, to blame the situation or blame whatever it's outside of you or in front of you at the moment. But I think something that I learned over the years is like, the more something bothers me, the more I need to go back and see myself, the more I need to go back and reflect. Like why in the world is this bothering me so much in the 1st place? Like why is this triggering or pushing a button within me?

David: And I have found that going into nature and or taking a little walk and, and just sitting with that question for a little bit, like just keep asking myself that question. It's, it turns this adversity or this challenge, challenging situation into, into insight into learning into an opportunity to to have the, the kind of aha moment. It was like, oh, I do that thing that this person is doing to me by the way. That's why it's like bothers me so much. Maybe because there's some piece of me that I don't like about myself that I barely take time to accept and, and look at in the first place.

David: So when we see it in others, it's like it triggers something within us that that we don't want to face within ourselves. So that is something that that is one that comes up. Another one that comes up is something that I've been thinking about lately is this concept of looking at your experiences as something that it triggers and a specific feeling that you don't want to face or you want to avoid. Let me explain. If something really bothers you or something that really moves you in in one way or another, negative or positive, right?

David: It's because there's a specific feeling you don't want to face that this situation or experience, it's surfacing in your life and you don't like it because you don't want to face that feeling. It has nothing to do with people. It's just this feeling it's surfacing. You want to run away. So something that I've been thinking about is like, OK, this situation surface this feeling. Why do I hate this feeling that is no longer about the experience. It's no longer about the person.

David: It's about what is my relationship with this specific feeling and why it is so hard for me to face it, or why or or why do I keep avoiding it. So, and I think the more we look at it, the more like we put on those little things, the more freedom we can get.

Nina: I love all those points that you mentioned. I think particularly on how, you know, when facing adversity is not looking at outside, but really looking inside, right? And they've always said repeatedly, we have so much human potential within us. And it's these moments of adversity where that really give us that chance to chance to grow.

Nina: It reminded me of a quote I remember hearing from somewhere where it's you cannot become a butterfly unless you are willing to give up being a Caterpillar. And I think adversity is that kind of that metamorphose moment where it's giving you that chance to metamorphosize or to change to that butterfly. But you have to be willing to give up your old self to be a better version of yourself once you learn how to overcome that adversity.

Nina: And precisely when you were saying how it's sometimes about seeing if it's like a certain person or a certain situation that's irritating you, maybe that's a maybe that's something that you have within yourself that that you need to change. I remember Confucius has a quote there where when you're with friends, learn from those that you want to learn from, and then also learn not to adopt the habits of those that you don't want to learn from, essentially. So when you face anyone, things that you learn from and things that you don't learn from. So appreciate you sharing those David. Tyler, how about you?

Tyler: Yeah, So for myself, one way that I have faced diversity is learning how to handle rejections, especially when it comes to friendships and relationships. Especially like being ghosted, right? Being ghosted can be very painful, right? Nobody wants to be just suddenly cut off contact out of the blue without any given explanation. And before, I used to take it like extremely personally. So oftentimes before, I would blame myself constantly. And I've been thinking to myself, am I not good enough? What did I do wrong? I must really suck. What did I do to deserve this? And then I would get myself stuck in this constant loop.

Tyler: And not only was I just blaming myself, but then I started blaming the other person. And then I would say, oh, you're just being unappreciative. How could you do this to me after, you know, we've been friends for, you know, for so long, we have any good memories. How can you, you know, how can you do this right? And then, but over time and a lot of self reflection, I realized that I learned to reframe these experiences when you, when you're facing adversity is really not about just ignoring the pain or ignoring what happened to us, but or just pretending that what, what what happened to you is, is acceptable, right?

Tyler: Really facing adversity really means it's just accepting that I cannot control another person's choices, but I couldn't control how I respond to them. And I can either let these experiences fill me with a lot of like self doubt and resentment, or I can use these experiences to develop greater self-awareness, strength, and lastly, inner peace. I really truly do believe this, that some people, they only enter our lives temporarily to teach us something. And there are other people that's going to remain in our life for the whole lifetime, right? So when someone chooses to cut off contact and leave, it's not necessarily mean that there's something wrong with me.

Tyler: But sometimes the relationship just simply ran its course and people move in different directions. And of course, I'm not always going to receive the explanation, the closure that I want, but at least I can create closure within myself. So ultimately, I'm protecting my inner peace and adversity for me has taught me that rejection does not determine my worth. It's redirecting me towards my personal growth and towards people who are better aligned with my life. So that's for me.

David: Yeah, I think reframing is so powerful and shifting perspective about the situations is very, very transformative because it take it could take you from a very dark place to to like seeing light at the end of the tunnel. It reminds me of this story of there's a mother that had two sons, one sells umbrellas and one sells ice cream. And she was sad because, you know, when it was raining, one son couldn't sell ice cream or vice versa, when she could just be happy that one can sell umbrellas and then the other day the other one can sell ice cream.

David: So again, it's like, like you're saying, how do you refrain in your mind and trying to look at things from a different lens so that you could be more grateful and, and, and look at life from a different lens. Yeah. Totally. That's so true. I think you guys both touched on great points and something that seems to be the common thread is adversity is how we are perceiving things, whether we are blaming ourselves or rather we are blaming others.

David: And really the key is to be able to transform those thoughts from a blaming thought to either a look at this from the other side, right as you mentioned, finding the the goodness and and all of it. And it's funny that you say that, Nina. It becomes a choice. It is a choice. Absolutely. You actually are choosing. Inner peace isn't that interesting. That's right. And if he that's the choice,

Nina: Yeah, no, honestly, so true. The the story that I was thinking to to share for this question has been my job recruiting journey so far. It's been a couple months of just, you know, applying a job, then interviewing and facing a lot of rejections.

Nina: And I think you can see job recruiting on two sides of the coin. If you say like one side could be either blaming the job market off man, like the job market is so terrible right now. Like why this so painful? And you can be blaming AI for your resume not getting screened on a website. You can blame yourself be like, oh, like how come I'm not good enough? Why do I suck compared to all of these other people? And something that I've been learning about myself and learning to do over these couple months is to see as more of a learning opportunity.

Nina: It honestly had been a great way for me to learn and explore other industries and both and different companies. Being able to talk to so many amazing people, being able to practice my speaking skills and, you know, casing skills. And so the thing that I wanted to share was in terms of facing adversity or uncertainty, what has helped me in terms of this experience and what I think can apply to any experience, not just job hunting, is One just that persistence in applying to those jobs and practicing.

Nina: Two, when you are in that situation, when you are in that interview, just going with the flow and just doing your best because you know you already done your best in practice so much beforehand. And three, learning to accept the outcome, regardless of whether the outcome is a good one or I get get a better those perception accepting regardless of what the outcome is, right? Because at the end of the day, it's, it's out of you've done your best and we have to just accept that. And so that has been really my main take away from this experience. And I think everything that you guys both touched upon when it comes to the fact that adversity is, really is a mindset. Super true.

David: Yeah, I agree, Nina, like separating what you're the experiences you're going through externally and then not letting those things like move your inner world. I think is, is, is like it brings you closer and closer to like that inner peace that we've been trying to talk about and handling adversity, which brings me to the next thing I want to share is around like inner clarity.

David: I think once we understand the why, the why behind everything we think we say we do, no one but us have the keys to our inner Kingdom of inner peace. If an intruder does come in and you know, you name any emotion, right, anxiety, fear, worry, I mean, you name them, right? They're countless out there. It becomes an opportunity to learn and continue to fortify our inner Kingdom. Ultimately, the inner peace becomes with this inner clarity and awareness around when one of these intruder comes in, like why is it in in the 1st place, right, right.

David: So, So once we take the time to understand the why behind and we pause, we stop allowing every emotion, opinion, or even one thought or difficult circumstances to rule over us. Because at the end of the day, each of us hold the keys to our inner Kingdom of inner peace. And other people may come, they criticize, disappoint us, or bring chaos to our gates, but they cannot control unless you allow them to.

Tyler: Thanks David. I really like that image of each of us holding the keys to our own inner Kingdom. Because inner peace isn't just about building walls so high that nothing can ever affect us.

Tyler: Because stress, uncertainty, rejection and disappointment is part of our daily life. And they will still try to find their way in. Now, inner clarity helps us understand what we can learn from those experiences and what we no longer need to carry.

Tyler: So as we close today's episode, I want to leave with everyone these three main takeaways. Number one is that inner peace begins with awareness. So if we remember in our opening skit, the real problem wasn't just the missing coffee or the upcoming meeting. It was how quickly an ordinary morning can become a disaster in our mind. So when we take a step back and we observe our thoughts and separate what is actually happening from what we fear might happen, that is how we can create room for peace now

Tyler: Number two is we need to focus on what is within our control. Marcus Aurelius couldn't control every conflict or crisis surrounding him, but he could control his judgement, his actions, and his responses to those conflicts. We can see that same lesson in our modern day life. We can prepare for an interview, we can practice for a performance, and we can also put our best effort into relationship, but we cannot guarantee the outcome. Inner peace grows when we do our part and learn to release what is beyond our control.

Tyler: And lastly, inner peace and adversity can exist at the same time. Inner peace doesn't mean that we never feel anxious, or we feel hurt, or we never feel disappointed. Rejection can still hurt, uncertainty can still be exhausting, and mistakes will definitely still happen. Now peace means that those experiences do not get to define our worth or determine what we do next. We can learn, adapt, and keep moving forward.

Tyler: So I want to leave with everyone these three questions to ask yourself. Number one, what can I understand more clearly. Number two what is within my control and number three, what am I ready to release?

Tyler: And that brings us to the end of our episode for today. Thank you so much, everyone, for tuning in to Episode 7. So we hope you all got a lot of great value from today's conversation. And if you want to continue the conversation, follow us on social media @ancientwisdom_modernvoices.

Tyler: Thank you everyone, and we hope to see you all at the next episode. Until then, take care!